This weekend I went home for my brother Jeremy's graduation from the MBA program at Franklin University in Columbus, Ohio. The ceremony took place at the Veterans Memorial, where I performed (as a tumbling clown) in a gymnastics exhibition when I was six years old.
Jeremy was so fond of his gown that he wore it to the restaurant where we celebrated afterward, drawing friendly comments from several fellow diners. I uploaded one picture of him sitting down wearing the gown, in which he appears to be a king at rest. The whole weekend became an occasion for a mini-family reunion, with several relatives coming in from Tennessee. Mom's good friend Destrie was part of the party too.
Many people know what's going on with me and Helen, but my cousin Madison--age 12--hadn't heard the news. So on Saturday she innocently asked where Helen was, catching me completely off guard. I decided she was old enough to know the truth, so I said we'd split up. Then I told her that one of my favorite pictures ever is of me, Helen and Madison when Madison was 5--this was at a wedding in 2002. I spoke about this very rapidly, so that I could maintain my composure.
Yesterday was nostalgia day. First I had breakfast with my high school friend Emilee, whom I'd not seen since 1997. We'd totally lost touch, and thanks to the glory of Facebook reconnected this year. Emilee married in 1997, and Jeremy and I went to North Carolina for the occasion. Our car broke down on the way, which freaked me out; my younger brother Jeremy exhibited much more maturity, and simply called AAA.
After breakfast Jeremy and I went over to our middle school to see our guidance counselor, Mr. Dukes. He's now had 35 years as an educator and was a great influence on us during those particularly awkward years.
Jeremy and I were waiting in the office for him to return, and then he walked by and waved like he wasn't surprised at all to see us. We hadn't called ahead since the plan came together so suddenly, and ended up chatting for 45 minutes.
Today I flew back to SF. Previous trips home always left me lamenting how it was hard to find things in common with my family. This time I was much more at ease--a combination of getting older and having better perspective, and gratitude at how everyone has rallied around me during this difficult year.
Today happens to be I Love You Day, the 10th anniversary. Ten years ago today Helen and I said we loved each other for the very first time, after a walk along Sheridan Road to the Baha'i House of Worship. It was a perfect blue sky day, and at the time life seemed limitless. It still feels brimming with possibility, albeit now with some backward glances from time to time. Parents always tell their kids that life as an adult is hard, but there's no way to know that's true until you get knocked down. It all comes down to how you get back up.
Marcus
This is so totally how it is....None of us would choose the part about getting knocked down of course.
When I was divorcing I hated hearing things like after the clouds are gone, the sun will shine....or how well I was..or was not handling the situation. Only now with much time and distance do I know it really is true.
Posted by: linda socha | May 18, 2009 at 06:55 AM