"It is What It Is"-itis

Today at lunch I noticed an ad with the phrase "It is what it is."  This reminded me that I've heard this phrase a lot recently. And a few months ago Aunt Linda noted an alarming increase in this usage among some of the clients at her therapy practice.  Rather than people taking ownership over their future, "it is what it is" allows for an easy-way-out fatalism.

So how about this instead: "It could be what it could be!"

Hmm...that seems too mushy. But whatever; it is what it is.

Comments

[Allison Landa]

I HATE that saying. It is what you make it, damn it.

[Happy Chandler]

I've definitely been a user of that phrase. There are times when something is what it is, and the effort to make it something different just isn't worth the results. The phrase is...well it just is what it is! :)

[Martin J. Brennan]

It's essentially the first leg of the three legged serenity prayer:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Of course, it's not much use without the other two important legs. And since many good RCTs have disproven the power of prayer, as this one:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10781776

I prefer to shorthand the important message within the prayer by simply yelling "Serenity Now!" at appropriate moments.

[Marcus]

How true--it is like the first part of the Serenity Prayer! (Even if prayer doesn't work...) But nevertheless I like "Serenity now!" much better than "It is what it is"; the first is realism about what can't be changed, the latter is just wimpiness.

[Helen]

I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of a simple phrase with which people choose to express themselves. There is absolutely no difference between the first phrase of the serenity prayer and it-is-what-it-is. Just two different ways of expressing the same idea.

[Marcus]

Well, this was meant to be a light-hearted post. But I have an easy way to deal with grumpy comments; I call out, "Serenity! It is what it is!"

[Wevbo]

Isn't there a kind of existential/theological split on the difference between these two phraes?

I like "it is what it is" because it doesn't require causation: things happen, not things happen because of X or Y or Z (so therefore I need to accept them). The serenity prayers asks God to grant you the calmness to passively accept something that cannot be changed. The presence of God, and the asking her for serenity, implies an order to things and why they happen, and a lack of understanding on the part of the witness/requester of serenity.

"It is what it is" for me, also often means, "hey this is the best we can do," sort of as a reply to "how the heck did we end up here/with this?!"

I friggin' hate the serenity prayer, because I feel like it is used by organized religion to encourage people to passively accept a lot of bad things in their lives: abusive spouses, totalitarian governments, pedophiliac priests, head lice, etc.

That said, "it is what it is" is kind of a hipster cop-out these days. Sadly, I say it more often than I wish I did. To agree with Happy Chandler: "it is what it is" :)

[Marcus]

Thanks everybody! I was really just being silly, and look at the great and thoughtful response! It is what is is, indeed.