My Bubbly Atheist

Growing up, I was a good Christian boy.  Before I was even 10 years old, I would only listen to Christian radio and watch religious television; and the Bible was my main reading matter. My grandma was very religious and this seemed to work for her. Whenever I spent the night at her house, I'd always read the 23rd and 91st Psalms aloud while sitting on her knee.

Around the age of 10, I started planning out sermons I would deliver when I became a minister someday.  (If only there had been blogs back then--I could have crafted some very interesting posts!)

At the age of 11, I took a more stern approach and figured out who at school needed "saving" from the fiery flames of Hell.  One person on the docket was a fellow sixth grader with the seemingly  Hell-proof name of Faith. Even back then I wasn't much of an activist; I pondered talking to Faith about my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and how He should come into her heart, but never really did it.

By the time high school rolled around, I was a stalwart in the church youth group (a group known as "The Filling Station"--complete with a logo of a gas pump--because Jesus had the power to fill your formerly empty life up). I edited the youth group's newsletter. I went to Bible camps most summers, and was on the "Bible Bowl" trivia team (think Jeopardy, but with all questions coming from the Bible). I went to every single youth group meeting during my senior year in high school, and was rewarded with a trip to Niagara Falls. (Driving to church on the day of the trip, I went so fast that I got a speeding ticket.)

My early years at Northwestern were filled to the brim with Campus Crusade for Christ meetings, and twice-Sunday trips to the First Presbyterian Church of Evanston.  Eventually, though--as often happens in college--I had a crisis of faith. Sometime in the summer between freshman and sophomore year, I decided that the evangelical Christian notion that everyone must worship the same God or be damned to perdition made no sense at all. During sophomore  year I  half-heartedly attended various religious functions, and eventually stopped going altogether.

Almost 2 years after this break in faith, I met Helen.  Several things stood out about her--she was smart, she was sweet, she was sharp, she was attractive, she was funny.  Another thing that commanded attention: her proud declaration that she was an atheist, and not just a mushy agnostic who wanted to have it both ways.  Helen only believes in what she can see with her own eyes, and doesn't think that you have to be religious to care about making the world a better place.

For years after meeting Helen--for years after marrying her--I didn't know how to acknowledge her atheism to my family.   Obviously it didn't bother me that much, but I had years of  Filling  Station-inspired conditioning to contend with.  For all I know, nobody in my family would have cared. But because of our religious heritage, however attenuated it might be today, I never wanted to bring the topic up.

This morning I peeked at Helen's Facebook profile, and noted that she now lists her religious views as, "Bubbly atheist."  I thought this was awesome.

Helen is my bubbly atheist, and I love her.

Comments

[T Scott]

Marcus -- my thanks to both of you. I've had a bit of a rocky morning (personnel stuff to deal with), and this really lightened my load.

[Wevbo]

Marcus,

You write excellent blog, but this entry in particular stood out for me. You chronicle some nice, powerful moments from your youth, with a good humorous touch, and the entrance of Helen onto the scene feels like you found a good spiritual mentor when you needed it most :)

Thanks for writing this,

John

[Mat]

Small world, I don't remember for what reason I linked Mark Funk's Blog and ended to your Blog and the Bubbly Atheist column. First let me congratulate you for the Blog that you've created, you are a great writer, then accept my best wishes for Helen and you. I don't believe in luck but I believe that there is a reason for anything that happens for us. Reading about your solid background and belief and meeting and falling in love with someone opposite to what you've known since your childhood! I think God is kind to Helen and you have a mission to do. It's very simple, sometimes we aren't able to see what is exist. Can we see the Oxygen that we are breathing, but if we lack the Oxygen we won't be able to live? It's obvious that we aren't able to see and hear this "Power" so simple but we have to build the strength within ourselves at least to see the signs and hear the messages that he is sending everyday and every moments to each one of us. I happen to come across with a series of writings By Dr. Bahram Elahi that makes sense for anyone with any religious belief and would like to suggest.
Foundations of Natural Spirituality: A Scientific Approach to the Nature of the Spiritual Self (Paperback)

Medicine of the Soul : Foundations of Natural Spirituality

Spirituality Is a Science: Foundations of Natural Spirituality

In his books he has a scientific approach to spirituality which makes sense.

Best wishes for both of you,
Mat

[Benny]

Marcus,

I appreciate this blog. You could always tell me anything. I am referring to the part about family. Our family certainly has a religious background; however, much more liberal than most. Talk soon!

Love,

Jeremy

[Martin J. Brennan]

Marcus, I had no idea you were in the Campus Crusade for Christ - I always had a special corner of contempt in my mushy agnostic heart set aside for those types. But if they can actually evolve into people like Marcus Banks - well, maybe there is a God.