Marcus' World

My Bubbly Atheist

Growing up, I was a good Christian boy.  Before I was even 10 years old, I would only listen to Christian radio and watch religious television; and the Bible was my main reading matter. My grandma was very religious and this seemed to work for her. Whenever I spent the night at her house, I'd always read the 23rd and 91st Psalms aloud while sitting on her knee.

Around the age of 10, I started planning out sermons I would deliver when I became a minister someday.  (If only there had been blogs back then--I could have crafted some very interesting posts!)

At the age of 11, I took a more stern approach and figured out who at school needed "saving" from the fiery flames of Hell.  One person on the docket was a fellow sixth grader with the seemingly  Hell-proof name of Faith. Even back then I wasn't much of an activist; I pondered talking to Faith about my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and how He should come into her heart, but never really did it.

By the time high school rolled around, I was a stalwart in the church youth group (a group known as "The Filling Station"--complete with a logo of a gas pump--because Jesus had the power to fill your formerly empty life up). I edited the youth group's newsletter. I went to Bible camps most summers, and was on the "Bible Bowl" trivia team (think Jeopardy, but with all questions coming from the Bible). I went to every single youth group meeting during my senior year in high school, and was rewarded with a trip to Niagara Falls. (Driving to church on the day of the trip, I went so fast that I got a speeding ticket.)

My early years at Northwestern were filled to the brim with Campus Crusade for Christ meetings, and twice-Sunday trips to the First Presbyterian Church of Evanston.  Eventually, though--as often happens in college--I had a crisis of faith. Sometime in the summer between freshman and sophomore year, I decided that the evangelical Christian notion that everyone must worship the same God or be damned to perdition made no sense at all. During sophomore  year I  half-heartedly attended various religious functions, and eventually stopped going altogether.

Almost 2 years after this break in faith, I met Helen.  Several things stood out about her--she was smart, she was sweet, she was sharp, she was attractive, she was funny.  Another thing that commanded attention: her proud declaration that she was an atheist, and not just a mushy agnostic who wanted to have it both ways.  Helen only believes in what she can see with her own eyes, and doesn't think that you have to be religious to care about making the world a better place.

For years after meeting Helen--for years after marrying her--I didn't know how to acknowledge her atheism to my family.   Obviously it didn't bother me that much, but I had years of  Filling  Station-inspired conditioning to contend with.  For all I know, nobody in my family would have cared. But because of our religious heritage, however attenuated it might be today, I never wanted to bring the topic up.

This morning I peeked at Helen's Facebook profile, and noted that she now lists her religious views as, "Bubbly atheist."  I thought this was awesome.

Helen is my bubbly atheist, and I love her.

Helen's Take on Tokyo

Helen finally posted about our Tokyo adventures over on Two Way Streets. Enjoy the post!

Update on Helen's Summer Plans

Right before heading for Tokyo Helen had decided to intern at LG Electronics in Seoul this summer. That's very far away, with a huge time difference from Berkeley (16 hours).  But walking around Tokyo we started planning for a vacation in which I would come to Seoul and then we'd go to Hong Kong (Helen's home city) for our third visit together.

Then Helen checked her email at the funky little Internet cafe we were using, and discovered that Procter & Gamble had offered her a marketing internship at Duracell! This was exactly what Helen wanted.

So instead of Seoul Helen will be in Bethel, CT--close to our old Manhattan home--working for Duracell.  She'll stay in CT during the week and come on down to mighty NYC over the weekend.  I'm already looking forward to my visit for Helen's birthday.

Back in September Helen wrote an interesting post wondering how people choose Duracell batteries or Energizers when they are the same price.  And now look where she's working!

Of course, it is a little strange to post something on my blog only to retract it a few weeks later. Then again, I have a history of this.

Two things we can say for sure now: Helen will be at Duracell from mid June to early September, and then she's off to London for the fall semester at the London Business School a few weeks later.

Congratulations Helen!

Tokyo Travels

Yesterday we returned from Tokyo at 9 AM, after departing on the same day at 4 PM Tokyo time. When I was in college I thought it was strange to arrive in Chicago at the same time I'd left Columbus.  Now I know that was no big deal.

While in Tokyo we stayed at the Kimi Ryokan, which the Lonely Planet Tokyo describes as "perhaps the best budget accommodation" in the city.  I can't verify that claim, but will say that it was a very pleasant stay.  The rooms were tiny, and we slept on simple mattresses on top of tatami mats. Shared showers and sinks, as well as a traditional Japanese bath on the second floor, were the main amenities. Guests could store food in the lounge, and even buy a beer from the lounge vending machine if you so desired.

Vending machines are everywhere in Tokyo; one estimate I read is that there is one vending machine for every 20 people in Japan. In Tokyo the ratio felt much higher. A person could walk two blocks and have several opportunities to buy a plethora of refreshing beverages.  Early in the trip Helen developed a taste for milk coffee (available for 110 yen, approximately $1.10). Once I got a hot coffee drink that I thought would be iced.  And at the airport heading home I bought a Coke simply because the container was cool.  This was decadence.

Sometimes we had to use vending machines to order food at a restaurant; we did this twice. There aren't always pictures of each dish, so without Helen my strategy would have been to pick something at random and hope it was good. But Helen diligently noted the characters on the display models out front before we went into the restaurant and placed our order.

Once we ordered beer from a vending machine--at the Sapporo Beer Museum. All that came out was a token, which we traded in for a sample of four small glasses of beer at the bar. At the museum I reconfirmed my great preference for light to dark beers. Helen doesn't drink beer, but she loved the beer jelly and beer crackers.

My favorite museum was the John Lennon Museum in Saitama Shintoshin (about 30 minutes from Tokyo.)  Yoko Ono opened the museum in 2000, on the 60th anniversary of Lennon's birth.  It tells the story of John's early years; the incredible rush of early fame; when he met Yoko (who used to let strangers cut her clothes off as a performance artist in the 1960's); the breakup of the Beatles and their peace campaign; Lennon's harassment by the US government for said peace campaign; Lennon's downward spiral into drugging and boozing in the early 70's; Lennon's redemption as a happy house-husband in New York City in the mid-70's; Lennon's untimely murder at the hands of Mark David Chapman just after the release of the album Double Fantasy with Yoko.  (Chapman isn't named at the museum. He's still in prison at Attica, and apparently he spends a lot of time in the library.)

Lennon was an amazing musician and devoted father, but it's  still odd to go to an entire museum dedicated to just one person.  But no more odd than going to a museum that's all about parasites.  We did that too, and were rewarded with a view of an 8.8 meter tapeworm that once lived inside a man in Yokohama. Loyal blog readers, I suggest that you cook with care.

Tokyoites have a fabulously reliable train system, and my favorite was the Yamanote line that whisked commuters around the city on an aboveground track.  This train featured silent commercials, frequently for Contac.  Just as two warriors are about to cross swords, one warrior sneezes and the other man wins.  This commercial never got old. Loyal blog readers, I suggest that you buy Contac to prevent sneezing.

You probably won't need to buy tissues (although we did once, at a Seven Eleven.) Outside many train stations young people give away tissue packets with advertising on them.  Once we scored an honest-to-goodness tissue box, which fit perfectly inside our bag and provided for easy-access tissues for the rest of the day. I needed those tissues, because whenever I wasn't having fun I was blowing my nose.

We mostly stayed in Tokyo, where we saw a fun kabuki show as well as the extensive gardens of the Imperial Palace.  We also went to the Tokyo Dome and took in the scene surrounding the Boston Red Sox-Oakland A's game; this was right after a futile attempt to spot the sumo wrestlers who live in the Ryoguku neighborhood.  And we went to the world famous Tokyo Fish Market to watch men poke dead tuna with hooks.  And we strolled among the cherry blossoms in Ueno Park, with what felt like the rest of Tokyo.  Once I head a man tell his friends (in a language I actually understood!), "I can't stay out of everyone's pictures."

Our longest excursion was to the Hokane region, which offers views of Mt. Fuji and delicious eggs cooked in the hot water generated from volcanic ash.  These eggs have pitch black shells, and are one of the reasons people come to Hokane.  From Tokyo you take one train; a second train; a cable car; and finally a "ropeway," which is basically a flying pod in the sky.  Actually getting to Hokane felt like a great accomplishment.  On the way back we stopped in at an onsen, a public bath.  Helen donned her birthday suit, but in the end I got cold feet and sat by the (what else?) vending machines.

Long trips make for good reading.  On the flight there I read Amanda Davis's novel Wonder When You'll Miss Me, which is the book club selection in two week's time.  While in Tokyo--and especially on that epic voyage to Hokane--I dove deep into Zadie Smith's amazing novel On Beauty.  On the flight home I finished On Beauty. As soon as we landed (basically) I started recommending it to friends.

Thanks for the memories, Tokyo. And thanks for the good reads, Amanda and Zadie.

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Below are a few pictures, taken by fabulous photographer Helen. The full album is here.

 

Tokyo Bound, and a Summer in Seoul for Helen

Helen and I are off to Tokyo tomorrow, for a week-long urban immersion. (I wish it was a bit longer, but business school students only get so much time off for Spring Break.) We've talked about going to Japan for years, so we only have ourselves to blame that the yen is so strong against the dollar when we finally did it!

We've been to Hong Kong twice, but nowhere else in Asia.  That changes starting now, and by the end of the summer we'll both have been to Korea too. 

This week Helen accepted an offer for a summer position at LG Electronics, which is headquartered in Seoul.  It's a 9 week assignment for a marketing project, complete with company housing.  I'll be holding down the fort in Berkeley, with firm plans to go to Seoul to celebrate Helen's birthday in early July. Fortunately Helen will have a month or so at home before moving on to the London Business School for the fall semester.

All in all lots of time apart, but after 7 years of marriage I'm sure we can handle it.  Business school certainly yields many growth opportunities for everyone involved.

Online Identity Management: Hiding Pieces of Yourself In Order to Get Ahead

On our epic journey home from Berkeley Bagel this morning, Helen and I started talking about how you have to be careful about what you post online because potential employers Google you before they ever meet you.

The archetypal example: A picture of yourself passed out drunk at the age of 20 winds up on the Internet, and you're denied a good job even though you are eminently qualified for it.

On the one hand, I'm just as self-interested as anyone else. For example...I've refused to join certain Facebook groups because people I work with are on FB, and I don't want to be seen as frivolous whenever they get a feed about a silly cause I've joined.

On the other hand, I think, "Oh please! That person who denied you the job because of your drunken photo was probably even more drunk when they were 20 years old."

We've entered truly uncharted waters in recent years, in which personal and professional lives blend online in an unprecedented way. Before the Web, an employer would never ask about your college partying habits; such questions were immaterial to the available position.

They still are.

The difference now, of course, is that the evidence of your "debauchery" is now online.  So I'm dismayed at how all good strivers are feverishly wiping away evidence of their completely normal behavior from the Web.  Not saying that I would do anything different, just that we should all step back and examine the full cost of ambition.  One of those costs: We're creating Potemkin versions of ourselves even though the real versions are perfectly fine.

Seven Year Anniversary

Tonight we celebrated our seven year anniversary, with dinner at Boulevard on the Embarcadero.  Helen and I started dating on Feb. 27, 1999, and were married on the same day two years later.

It's always gratifying when people call or write on this special day. Tonight Mom called as I was riding along in the train to meet Helen (thanks Mom!). This morning Professor Fawole--our host in Nigeria last summer--sent us a note of congratulations. Helen and I were both extremely impressed by his memory.

When we married Geja's, a great fondue place in Chicago, was our place for the anniversary splurge. Eventually we grew fond of Blue Hill in New York. Tonight Boulevard had a bustling air and great service, but I'm not sure yet if it will be a keeper.

The restaurant doesn't matter all that much in the end, of course. But a caring relationship, tender feelings, and big smiles matter very much indeed.  Here's to seven more years of all of those.

Helen's Off to London Next Fall

One of the most rewarding aspects of being part of the Haas Business School community is the opportunity to mingle with people from around the world, both here in Berkeley and across the globe.  Next fall Helen will make the most of that opportunity, by spending a semester abroad at the London Business School.  Helen considered applying to LBS, but ultimately chose not to. This way she can have the best of both worlds--some international experience, and the Haas degree.

At different times in our relationship the prospect of living apart loomed, for various reasons. Very early on (1999) I went to Turkmenistan as a Peace Corps volunteer, but was not emotionally ready for a 2 year separation and came back after just a few days. It's a funny story now, but was traumatic at the time.

Much more recently I applied to be a writing fellow at the American Prospect magazine, during a two year period that would have overlapped with Helen's business school years. The magazine is in Washington DC,  and none of the school's on Helen's list were there. Had I become a writing fellow, we would have lived apart for a long time.

In that light, a 3.5 month separation for a business school semester--especially since I will be sure to visit London at one point--is not so long.  But it still feels that way now, since we've never actually lived apart (although Helen traveled a lot as a consultant, we always saw each other on the weekends). It will feel strange, and lonely, but be worth it in the long run. I'm very happy for Helen.

Helen is Famous

After letting Two Way Streets languish for over a month--because she was "busy"--yesterday Helen wrote a fascinating post about the hidden costs of buying generics.

It's so fascinating that today the Wall Street Journal linked to it from an article about a similar topic.  If you scroll down to "Related Articles and Blogs," and click "More related content," you'll find Helen's post. Earlier tonight she was linked directly below the article, and somebody clicked to it from the WSJ.

Pretty cool!

Helen's Latest Blog

Why have one blog when you can have two? Helen is still plugging away at her blog about marketing, "Two Way Streets."  But recently she also started writing on the Berkeley MBA Students blog, a group effort that is targeted at prospective students. Helen has two posts so far there, including a nice one from today about the joys of dinner at home.