Last night I learned that Ben Affleck is 40 years old and was born in Berkeley. I discovered this by Googling "Ben Affleck" after watching his speech celebrating Argo as Best Picture.
I was so intrigued by Ben because of this statement he made about marriage (he's married to Jennifer Garner) during his speech: "It IS work, but it's the best kind of work."
This was such a great statement--true, heartfelt, mature, thoughtful. Most of my conceptions of marriage and romance growing up came from Motown or other pop songs. It was always easy, always sunny, always light.
Obviously that is not true. Marriage is work, hard work, exhausting work sometimes. You have to reconsider all your notions, all your certainties, and make emotional space for another person.
The reward: along the way you become a better person yourself--more open, more open-minded, more relaxed, more light. You do eventually reach that sunshine place Motown's best crooned about. But you have to earn it.