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October 24, 2007

Facebook's Birthday Reminders

Lately I've become too dependent on Facebook to remind me of friend's birthdays.  I used to be pretty good at remembering them; now so many people I know are on Facebook that I'm losing my edge.

Lots of other people have the same dependence, it seems. Whenever anyone on Facebook has a birthday, they are flooded with good wishes. Everyone has a different threshold, but I'd have to think that after receiving the 20th birthday greeting in ten minutes it starts to feel rote. [A similar phenomenon: Activist emails that are written in advance so that you just have to push a button. Even though the convenience is very tempting, my understanding is that these usually annoy legislators rather than inspiring action.]

This week I sent two birthday greetings via Facebook--one was a hasty "Happy Birthday!" that felt too slight afterward. So the next time around I added a personal note about something I knew was going on in the individual's life, and felt better about myself. If you're going to send a birthday greeting via a social networking site, my advice is to take the extra effort to make it personal.

Ahem...Time will tell how well I follow my own advice!

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Our birthdays are (I think and hope) nine days apart. Every year, I get a nice birthday card from you, which is always personal and thoughtful. Then I beat myself up for having forgotten your birthday yet again. Yours almost always precedes mine, so I never have the chance to pay you back in a way that looks like I'm just doing what all good friends do.

I'd hate to see this complex dance of affection and guilt replaced by a quick Wheatgrass Smoothie sent via Booze Mail. Don't listen to the Facebook sirens on this one.

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